Where From Here
by ButtonandaZipper
Summary: Sam and Mercedes finally talk in Season 5! It's long overdue and their feelings are exposed.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: For those of ya'll reading RR - I am working on one more chapter. From AR's POV, but I made a mistake. I watched an episode of Season 5 Glee (the one where Blaine/Sam go to NY). The side-eye that I had on my face had to be legendary! smdh..ugh! I felt like tptb have reduced Sam to a village idiot punch line, and Samcedes to even worse. Anyways - as I was working on ideas for RR, I couldn't stop thinking of that episode. My Samcedes heart couldn't take it, so I started writing a reason for the change in Sam's cray cray behavior. A few more chapters are coming, and as always - Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I only own the story. Not the characters.

Mike and Mercedes could see that they had successfully wore out the new (and not so new) New Directions with their coaching.

All and all, the M&M Boot Camp was a success.

They both had came back to Lima-again-to offer some assistants at Tina and Artie's pleading. Tina and Mike were now just friends, after trying one last time (briefly) over the last Christmas break. And Mercedes couldn't resist her soul brotha Artie when he Skyped her asking for help.

"We got the talent - ya know that already Mama. Just not the focus - that's why I'm begging like James for ya to swing through! Bless us with your soothing sound, them killer curves, and wise patience. Please?" he crooned.

Three days later she found herself heading home with Puck and teaming up with Mike to try to help the gang out.

Once he confirmed with Mercedes that they should call it a day, Mike said excitedly, "That's it for today everyone. Good work - we'll see ya'll tomorrow!"

The ND's scattered out of the room before their coaches had a chance to changed their minds.

After going over ideas with everyone for their weekly songs to complete the week's assignment, Mercedes was tired.

She only managed to get a few hours of sleep the night before and was ready to call it a day.

Also having her ex sneak not-so-discreet looks her way was starting to get to her.

Come to think of it - just about every decision that Sam Evans made so far this year was really making her ass itch..

"Yeah, it's WAY past time for me to leave today." she thought.

Mike had been great in 'mentoring' Sam so that Mercedes wouldn't have to, but he had left with Puck.

Puck wanted to check out the new line of 'CherrioHos' and Mike thought it was best if he went along to keep things from getting out of hand.

Mercedes just wished he'd stayed long enough to help her sneak out. It was bad enough that she could feel Sam's eyes burning a hole into her back, but now she was starting to feel guilty again about -

"Sigh. What's done is done. There's no going back to change anything. Just leave already." she said to herself.

Sam couldn't believe it.

Mercedes was still not going to talk to him? To say that he was pissed was an understatement.

From the corner of his eye he noticed that she was still packing up her things with her back to him. He finally had had enough of the silence and decided that he wasn't leaving this room until she at least acknowledged his presence.

"Have a great night Mercedes!" He shouted.

When she finally turned around to look at him - he wasn't prepared for the way that his heart seemed to skip a beat from looking into those brown doe eyes of hers.

Mercedes almost dropped her belongings from the sound of his booming voice. She didn't want to just out right ignore him, so she quickly grabbed her things and headed for the door while responding, "You too Sam. Great job today."

He couldn't believe this! She was almost sprinting to leave the room. Sam couldn't take the bitterness from his tone when he said, "Thanks. Your new boyfriend has some good moves - I'll give him that."

That stopped Mercedes from reaching for the door handle real quick. She didn't care for his tone or the implication at all. "Mike is not my boyfriend."

"Maybe someone should tell him that.."

By now her patience was starting to wear thin and she was done with feeling uncomfortable. If he wanted confrontation - he damn sure was heading in the right direction!

Mercedes dropped her stuff down near the door, faced Sam, and asked the question that had been on her mind since arriving back to Lima.

"What happened to you Sam?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. First that hot mess also known as Bram, and now your plan on becoming the biggest male model in New York? Seriously - what is that about?"

"It's my dream and I going to do everything I can to make it happen. My romantic life is no longer your business either."

His cool demeanor towards her was something new too, but she had a feeling that mentioning that as well wouldn't get her anywhere. So she just sighed and tried a calmer approach.

"Sam, I know you. Or at least I thought I did. This male modeling bit was what you fed your 'customers' at Stallionz. Unless what you told me was a lie? You use to tell me about your dreams. All the time. So don't expect me to fall in line with everyone else and buy this modeling business."

"Well, things have changed." Sam replied softly. Though once he looked down at her concerned gaze - he felt angry all over again.

"People change Mercedes. You should know that better than most. So why can't I?"

"And what is THAT suppose to mean?"

"You changed!"

"Me?!"

"Yes YOU! Before you left - I spent weeks showing you how much I love you. Then we FINALLY got back together, and then in just a few days of you being in wonderful LA - on our first and LAST Skype date - YOU broke up with me! Saying how things are 'so much harder than you thought they'd be' and you didn't want us to become one of those couples that just 'go through the motions' and end up hating each other later for 'missed opportunities'. How you didn't 'want to hold me back'."

"I only thought-" she started to say, but he quickly cut her off.

"No Mercedes! Let me finish. You asked me what happened darlin', so let me tell you."

Sam ran his hands roughly through his hair and took a deep breathe while looking Mercedes straight in the eye.

"We had distance between us before, but we got passed it and we were stronger for it. Or so I thought. You didn't even give me a chance to talk during that Skype. You just said your peace and hung up on me. Wouldn't return any of my calls - BLOCKED ME on Facebook - really Cedes?! So instead of spending my time being torn up and strumming sad songs on my guitar - I tried to move on. Brittany was still trying to get over Santana, so I thought, why not? When that ended, I wasn't hurt in the least. Why? Because nothing could ever hurt me as much as what you did would. Yeah, I did talk to you about my dreams. We always were able to talk to each other Cedes. Even while you were dating Shane.. So to go from speaking to you everyday to suddenly not at all? That hurt. Now you keep coming back to Lima on visits to help the Glee Club out and we STILL don't talk? With Mike practically attached at your hip? I get to see how 'friendly' you two have become. How he looks at you. For the record - I gotta say - I do NOT like it. The dreams that I use to talk to you about? They are still there. I just don't see them happening the why I thought that they would. I can't. Not anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I only own the story. Not the characters.

Seconds go by and they both continue to stare at one another in silence.

Finally Mercedes speaks. "That's what I don't understand Sam. Why not?"

The intensity of his stare caused her to take a step back. Then all the guilt she felt came soon after.

She then realized that she already knew why.

Sam couldn't help himself at that point - he went ahead and started to tell her anyway.

"Sigh.. The dreams that I had of starting my own graphic novel series? Of possibly having it made to fit the silver screen someday? To run a program that would help kids like me with dyslexia? In all of those dreams, I always had YOU. You were always with me - encouraging me, helping me, giving me a reality check when I would get frustrated and want to quit. Loving me. Now that we are not together.. when I have those dreams... it just hurts like hell."

Crestfallen, she could only level her eyes to the ground.

To say that she felt like crap would have been too kind in her opinion. No, Mercedes wasn't responsible for Sam's behavior, but after hearing him admit all of this.. how could she NOT at least feel partially to blame?

They were so close, in every way when they were together. And even though they weren't together now - to hurt him like this felt as though she was hurting herself too. In a way it was worse because she was the one who thought that it would be better this way. Instead of having time and distance apart to end things.

It wasn't.

The only way she could think of to even try to make up for the pain that she caused was by being totally honest.

It was going to hurt - no doubt about that - but if it could soothe an ounce of his hurt she would do it.

"You're wrong Sam. I do - still love you." she said in a near whisper. "I thought that I was doing what would be the best for us at the time."

"And you also thought that I shouldn't get a say in that?! Why? You just made the call without talking to me about it! Like my thoughts and feelings meant nothing." he choked out.

"I know that now. Sammy, I will _always_ be sorry for how I treated you then.."

Not being able to stand by and see him so upset anymore, Mercedes quickly went to hug him.

Sam was not having any of it.

He took a few steps back and slowly shook his head. The shocked look on her face and tears in her eyes almost made him go to her instead.

Until he remembered why they were having this conversation in the first place.

"No Cedes. I answered your question - now you answer mine. You tell me why. What made you decide to treat me like that? Why did you decide to end our relationship that way?"

She knew that question was coming and thinking about the answer seized her heart. The lump in her throat burned but she knew she had to tell him the truth.

"I missed you. That first week in LA was hard, but being away from you - again - was the hardest. Seeing you on Skype that night was what done it. I could see that you were hurting as bad as I was. And watching you try to put on a brave face for me was the last straw. I felt so helpless - seeing you like that and not being able to do anything comfort you. Then I thought that ending things would be better than having to keep seeing you so hurt because of me. Yeah, I knew that you would fight me on my decision, so I started to put you away. I ignored your calls, your texts. Even went as far as to block you on Facebook. I am not proud of it, but I was being stubborn. Because at the time I just knew that I had made the right choice. And for awhile it helped. School got better and my bosses were loving the new energy and sound that I had created after I decided to try to get over you. Then one night I started having these dreams. Dreams about you. That we were still together. And...I haven't stopped having those dreams about us Sammy.."

Her now tear stained face couldn't look at his anymore. She just dropped her shoulders and hung her head down.

"I still love you. More than I did before - if that is even possible. And I am so sorry for hurting you."

"I still love you too Cedes."


End file.
